It’s official, I’ve lost 31 pounds and have permission to eat table food. I feel like I’m cheating. The nutritionist said I shouldn’t be afraid and that I would get more nutrients from the food than the supplements I’m taking.
This is the hard part for me. They say they don’t want us feeling like we are on a diet, but we need to make healthy choices. If I was able to make healthy choices to start with, I wouldn’t need the lab band!
My mantra right now is eat the protein first. I am doing that. I’m still not eating huge quantities, but I still feel like I’m cheating. This morning I had an egg beater scrambled egg and 1/2 piece of toast with apple butter on it. I felt decadent – toast for heaven sake. It wasn’t the four halves, but one half and I feel like I cheated.
I am going to see Sally Monday night. Maybe when I can share these feelings she can give me some things to think about that will help my brain.
I wish I could think about food like a regular person. My Aunt Joan in Massachusetts said she bet I was thinking about food all the time. I sure am. I’m thinking that I’m hopeless even with the lap band. I can’t imagine myself getting thinner, even though I am. I think that kind of thinking is my downfall.
Emily says I’m conditioned. That’s interesting. Conditioned by 40 years of Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous and every other diet program. 40 years of constant reminder that I am imperfect.
Is that why the damn scale holds so much weight in my brain?
Congratulations!!! I’m so proud of you!!! Keep on keeping on… you are surrounded by people who have nothing but faith in you and love for you. We know you can do this, but not without the support and love from all of us!
Thanks! That means a lot to me.